Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind.

Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them yet.

Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year. Namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo!' I told him, 'It's been a year!'

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me. Bet he won't underestimate my intelligence again!

When you find yourself teetering too far in one direction, bring some balance back into your life.

Balance your work time with play time.

Balance your social butter flying with quiet, uninterrupted periods of solitude.

If you’ve been giving too much, let everyone know you’re ready to receive.

Balance your diet.

Too much of any one thing ~ no matter how good ~ can never be good.

If you’ve been at breakneck speed, slow down before an accident or injury does it for you.

You’ve been sitting in front of a screen (any screen!) for tool long, get up from your chair and dance walk or swim or stretch.

When you feel like you’ve been balancing too many things for too long, put some down.

Do it slowly and mindfully , so you don’t loose your  balance while you do.

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING:.
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE:
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

&

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD:
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me HUMOR:
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about SEX:
"How do you think you got here?"

My Mother taught me about GENETICS:
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS:
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE:
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like."

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because
I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't Exaggerate!! !"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

Bake bread the old fashioned way.

Bake muffins crammed full of blueberries.

Bake exotic cakes with unpronounceable names and multi colored frostings.

Bake tortillas, flatbreads, scones, cookies, biscotti.

Make little people out of dough and bake them into life.

Make them elves, hobbits, gremlins with vest and boots and long breads and breads, and hang them on trees or walls or shelves.

Bake because it smells like the very best kitchen you ever remember, because it feels good to have flour on your hands and vanilla on your fingers period.

Bake because you want to lick the whole bowl yourself without asking anyone’s permission.

Bake because you really enjoy wearing apron.

Bake because women have always baked and always will, and only by baking will you understand why.